Day 18

Hittin' the home stretch...it may get more sappy and goopy from here on out.  You've been warned!

Blood by System Syn - Music and Lyrics written by Clint Carney

A new day has opened up
Another sunrise you have missed
We miss you,
But it's not the same
On the road, the years move fast
And every state of mind won't last
We thought we'd live forever
Or just long enough to say goodbye

Say everything
Say anything to me
Say everything
And they will bury it with me

One day I may learn to speak
Say all the things I've buried deep
But I'm a coward so I hide
Behind these songs

Say everything
Say anything to me
Say everything
And they will bury it with me

Say everything
Say anything to me
Say everything
And they will bury it with me
And they will bury it with me

When years have passed
And I'm not here
Know that we shared this fear
All the things you couldn't say
Well, you weren't the only one

Say everything
Say anything to me
Say everything
And they will bury it with me

Say everything
Say anything to me
Say everything
And they will bury it with me

And they will bury it with me

And they will bury it with me


One of the last times we chatted before he stopped talking to me, this album came out, and when he passed, this song haunted me.  Had I been lucky enough to see System Syn last month, Clint actually promised to play this song if I made it.  Clint was very nice about it, and understood why I wanted (nay, NEEDED) to hear it.  How perfect is this song?  How perfect are the lyrics?  Never in a million years did I ever think my best friend would die while we are still in our 30's.  Never did I think I wouldn't have the opportunity to say goodbye.  His death has shaken my beliefs to the point where I find myself grasping at straws, praying for an afterlife, but keenly aware that the odds are not in my favor.  On one hand, I have to cling to the belief that there is an afterlife, so that when I shuffle off this mortal coil, I will see him, and my great grandparents, and my friends that I lost in Iraq.  But the more shit that piles upon my little world (and the whole world in general) regardless of my actions and morals, the more I can't help but think this is it.  It scares me.  It shakes me.  Some days I am left wondering if all this time the direction I thought was "up" was actually "sideways."  Damn.  I miss him.