Friday, September 23, 2011

Invincibility or Motherhood?

I sometimes wonder if there is some secret fuel that only mothers can live off of.  Are toddler hugs a source of energy?  Maybe it's diaper changing that refuels me like I stuck a power cord in my skull.  I guess the world will never know...

Today, er...yesterday for you day walkers, my friend took Dante, Scarlett and me to a music class.  Part of my brain went directly to "Oh, my goth.  What would 18 year old me say if she saw me now?" And the other part went "Holy crap, my son is stinkin' cute!"  The stinkin' cute bit won, and I am willing to sacrifice and recharge off magic spit up fuel if that's what it takes to get Dante in a music class 2 times a month.  I need to ask the teacher if I can take pictures, since his happy face is a smile that could launch an entire armada.

Speaking of happy faces, my friend in Montana (there's only one.  Maybe if I ever get up there I can make a few more...) decided to make me a happy camper and sent a care package!  I not only got a cool Scentsy disc (cinnamon!  YAY!), but she sent Scarlett a gorgeous outfit that should fit next summer with the way she eats, a couple of gorgeous bibs she embroidered, and Dante got a bad ass chalk and bubbles set!  He was so excited, I thought his head was going to explode!  (Excitement aside, if you decide you want some cool Scentsy stuff, I will get you her info.  If you are in Billings and need an awesome cut and color, same gorgeous gal.  Let me know.  =D)

On the agenda for today:  Lunch with a friend, assuming she gets back to me...I texted pretty late because I'm a space cadet, a trip to Albertson's with my binder (and the kids, since the nanny has the decade off) and then dinner with another good friend and her gorgeous kiddos.

I sometimes wonder if I spread myself too thin, but then I remember that I am a lucky be-otch.  I have wonderful friends, a fantastic husband, gorgeous kids and two legs that work.  I am luckier than a lot of people.  Sure, I'm pudgy (thanks, Scarlett!  LOL!) and I'm hundreds of miles from my family, and not too easy on the eyes, even when I'm emaciated (I got the pictures to prove it!), but dammit, I'm happy, even if I am an insomniac and always short on cash.  I think what saves me most days is my optimism.  Maybe that's my super power, my fuel.  Other people would have crumbled with the last year I've had, and yet I'm not just treading water, I'm swimming when I don't even know how to swim.

What I'm getting at, is that even though we don't have a lot, I like going out and seeing the people that matter.  In the end, when I am on my deathbed (hopefully it'll be as cool as Frida's), I'll be able to look back at all the memories and experiences and just...go.  I'll have few regrets and a couple of gorgeous kids happily pulling the plug knowing I'm done.  I've lived my life to as full as I could make it, exhaustion be damned.  I don't know how many days I have left, and I am going to cram them all as full as I can....

No comments:

Post a Comment