Friday, March 18, 2011


I just sat in absolute awe as Dante laughed his way through the Sesame Street theme song.  I try to keep reading about where he sits on an "average" scale, and I can't pin him anywhere.  He's smarter than a 3 year old in some ways, and a little behind in others.  Yes, he's made some amazing progress since I was told to have him evaluated by a speech pathologist in January (which I still haven't done, mostly because of the progress he's made...)

As much as I want to get him into school as soon as he is developmentally ready, the way schools have been making cuts, I can't help but wonder if he'd be better off with me for a bit, or in an online school (when he's old enough!)  It is scary how much he picks up if you just present the information to him in a way he understands.  Last night, while watching the "Up and Down Song" on Sesame Street, he went up and down just like the monsters on the screen, laughing the whole way!

I am not a very good pregnant lady.  Seriously.  I get very angry at weird things, and I'm waiting for the day I snap in traffic and get shot.  A few weeks ago, I went from the UPS Store to the Dollar Store (Same shopping center, but on opposite sides) and since my car has problems getting up and going, I am super cautious at 4 way stops since I have precious cargo.  This crazy lady thought it would be a great idea to honk at me, so I flipped her off.  Next thing I know, I'm parking at the dollar store and this burly, crazy looking black lady was yelling at me to watch who I flip off.  I yelled that not only was I pregnant and skinnier than her, I'd take her out like yesterday's garbage.  (I'm 20 weeks and 210 pounds and about 5'8'.  FYI.)  The best part was the group of people on the sidewalk between us, laughing like they were at a taping of The Daily Show.  As she walked inside Kmart, the group just pointed at her and laughed at her face.  It was hilarious.

I also think that women who love being pregnant either are lying to themselves and their friends and family, or they are mutants with amazing DNA.  Every so often, I am amazed that I haven't gone apesh*t off a bell tower yet, with either pregnancy.  Before Dante, there were three movies that made me cry:  Steel Magnolias, Edward Scissorhands, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  Since my first pregnancy, I now cry at jewelry commercials, the way some actors hug on a TV show, at any dumb thing you can possibly imagine.  It's odd and it drives me insane.

My pregnancy with Dante also made me insane in other ways.  When I was waiting for him to make his grand (and painful) entrance into this jacked up world of ours, I only got out of bed to pee, eat, or get more food.  Needless to say, I gained 50 pounds, an insulin dependent bout of gestational diabetes and an even more cynical outlook on the whole child-bearing thing.  I must say that the only good thing about being pregnant (aside from the excuse to be bitchy, irritable and slow) is the huge payout at the end. Now, even when not pregnant, I obsess over calories and sugar content, the amount I work out, and I read a ton more articles on metabolism and other weird things that I used to have no interest in.  And I'm now incredibly OCD with the way I have to have things in my kitchen.  I used to be laid back and now if my cheese grater is out of place, I snap.  (On the inside, at the very least!)  I think it's because I have so little control over the little things, I have to make mountains out of molehills to give myself the semblance of control.  Yikes.  I'm nuts!

All in all, I am dumbfounded and amazed at where this odd little life of mine has lead me.  I know I don't do things "by the book" for the most part, and most of what I have learned in the last two years has been to trust my gut and pray for the best, but I think I've managed to do a pretty good job.  I've met kids older than Dante with less social graces, so I must be doing SOMETHING right!  Right?


  1. For what it matters I think you are doing a great job. I think that all mothers worry about their kids doing the right things at the right time. I know that I worry about Harrison all the time and my Hubby tells me that if I wasn't worrying about one thing Id be worrying about something else. So keep trucking the best you know how.

  2. Thanks, hun! I'm just a crazy perfectionist who chose a "career" that doesn't really allow for perfection! =D

  3. I am sooooo with you on the whole " i love being pregnant" rant. I can't stand it. I hate it. I love my baby but not in my body. I am always there to bitch at/with. :D