Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men....

Yeah, you know how that goes.  Now, I am going to be completely honest, so please no bull.

I gave up breast feeding.  There.  I said it.  I was not doing well, and Scarlett wasn't having it.  At all.  It got to a point where I was so hellbent on getting Liquid Gold past her lips, I wasn't enjoying her.  I was getting anxious, angry, and losing patience with EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.  It was getting mighty sad, to be honest.

I am still a bit in awe that I lasted as long as I did.  Scarlett got a helluva lot more breast milk than Dante did, and he's a genius.  Does that mean I can all but count the days until Scarlett gets her scholarship letter to Harvard?

In all seriousness, the pain was killing me.  The pumping was torture.  Trying to get Scarlett to stay latched on was breaking my heart.  Her cries were hurting my heart and my ears.  So, now she is a straight formula girl, and as expensive as it is, I don't care.  Thanks to some awesome full sized samples, I actually have yet to buy any.  That will change in the next week, but with coupons and all the corners I've cut in other places, it won't break us.  She seems to be doing amazing!  She's been guzzling about 20 oz a day, and now she can fit newborn sized sleep and plays (feetie pj's, for those that aren't down with the lingo) but how she fits them is HILARIOUS.  She's actually getting too long for them, but some of them are up to twice as wide as she is!  LOL!

It also broke my heart to have to tell Dante that not only did I have to not jump at his every need when she was getting a bottle, but I had to not play with him while she slept so I could pump.  That was killer.  It's not his fault, why did he have to suffer?  Now, it's a lot easier for me to carve out time for both, and we're all better for the experience.  Speaking of, I am not at all worried about bonding with Miss Scarlett.  She knows exactly who I am and she knows I love her.  She's already rolling over if I cheat and put her arm under her just so when she's down for tummy time.  She is just amazing, and I am very, very lucky.

That being said, thanks to all who tried to help get my chest doing what it's supposed to do.  I really wish I could have, but I guess the lactation consultant that told me they were useless was right, and I am sincerely ok with it.  I'm much happier now....

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