Friday, November 11, 2011

Chocolate Tush with a Side of Baby Powder

Today was ....a day.  Woke up at ten because both Scarlett and Dante didn't want me to get any sleep.  Figured I'd get up, go get a bus ticket for a friend (long story), then go get Skyrim for the Love of My Life.

Got to 7-11 near our apartment to grab the bus ticket (new feature on greyhound's site!  You can pay cash and get the web fare, and avoid the gift ticket fee!  Sweet!) and I got the card set up only to have the douche behind the counter tell me they've never had it work (he didn't even try!) and he basically shooed me out the door.

Went to Starbucks to borrow a pen and make a phone call to Greyhound, and let Dante blow off some steam. Decided to look for another 7-11 at home online to save myself some time, and brought us upstairs for diaper changes and cup/bottle refills.  I immediately sit in front of my computer and I'm done with phone calls and "research" in less than 3 minutes.  I get up to ask Dante where his cup is, walk into his room.....and he's COVERED in baby powder.  He must've "made it rain" up in that be-otch!  He looked like he had grey hair!  I asked if he was a Mexican in white-face and he just said "yeah" in that cute voice of his that makes me both want to scream and give him a hug.  Took the obligatory pictures, sent one to his dad to remind him that keeping baby powder in this kids' reach is a bad idea, and brushed him off with my big ol' kabuki brush.  Seemed appropriate.

Got them strapped into the car, hit construction traffic, and heard FOUR "Chris Songs" in a row on the radio.  Not a cd that I threw in, on the radio.  Sigh.  Hit up the 7-11 near where I used to live in Glendale, ran in with both kids, and got the ticket.  Ran out, got them strapped back in and went a block away to GameStop.  Got them out again and this time got the stroller out because I wanted to hit the loo and I *hate* putting Scarlett's car seat on bathroom floors.  Got the game for my dear Hubby and figured I'd run to Safeway, since I had a coupon for a free Starbucks drink from Safeway's Starbucks that expired today.  I didn't have my binder with me (DAMN!), but I was only going for bread, milk and mayo, stuff I don't have coupons for anyway.

On the drive to Safeway, I was behind a lady with 6 kids in the car.  Yup.  A CAR.  Not a single one of those kids, who seemed to be between the ages of 3 to 12, were in a car seat.  Two kids were in the front passenger seat without the seat belt, and the other four were fighting in the back.  And they were fighting with the kids in the front!  I did what any other mom who loves their kids would do:  I called dispatch.  I gave the lady the make and model of the car, the color, the plates, and explained what I saw and where we were down to the block.  She was as dumbfounded as I was!  I really hope that driver got busted!  What if something had happened?  What if my brakes failed and I accidentally rear ended her?  My kids and I would have been safe, but those kids would have been roadkill!  I couldn't in good conscience let that go unreported!

Got to Safeway, got them out, and decided to let Dante ride in a car cart.  Ugh.  I hate those things.  They don't steer for squat, and the floors in this particular store leave a lot to be desired.  I hit Starbucks first, and the poor kid behind the counter was very confused by my coupon.  Seems it was his first day back there all alone, and the bar code had faded a bit.  Sigh.  While I was waiting for him to figure it out, Dante decided he wanted "Dante Coffee" (hot chocolate, for those keeping score), so I said "Sure!  But you have to stay in your seat or I'm taking it away!"  Bless his tiny heart, he tried!  The tiny, cut off straw that the barista gave him was too short even for the short cup and got stuck in the opening.  Add the sad state of the floors and the rickety-ness of the cart, and it was a recipe for disaster.  I checked out and ran back to Starbucks on the way out to get water to make Scarlett a bottle, and that was when I saw how much of Dante's chocolate had spilled.  Aw, crap.  I was thinking we left a trail of hot chocolate all over the store!  Then I saw his butt.  Oh, my goth.  He had a chocolate stain from his middle back to his upper thigh on the left side of his Osh Kosh overalls!  I turned around, and there was a reporter from 9News, talking to a manager as a camera guy set up.  I ran.  Heaven forbid my child's chocolate-y butt winds up on the local newscast.

 Got them home, fed them both, and now they are both out cold.  Wow.  What.  A.  Day!!!!

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