No kidding...

Here I was, enjoying Whitney (Thursday nights on NBC!  HILARIOUS!) and joking around with my husband as I looked at homemade gift ideas.

We hear "Daddy?" out of Dante's room, and I thought it sounded pretty close to the door.  My exact words?  "Nah, if he can get out, he'd open the door."

LO AND BEHOLD, the door opened seconds after I shut my fat mouth.  And my Hubby and I just laughed.  And laughed.  And laughed some more.  I nearly stopped breathing as Dante grabbed my face and said "Dante get down, Mama!"

We take him back to the scene of the crime, and he did exactly what I thought he'd do.  He stuck his foot through the slats and onto the top of the short filing cabinet that was next to his crib.

I got him out before he could do it again, and gave him a banana to eat as my dear husband moved said filing cabinet.  Dante then proceeded to dance around the living room munching on his banana.

It took a bit of finagling and some reminding that we're seeing Santa in the morning to get him to calm down and go to bed.  And now I'm worried that he's going to try again without the relative safety of the filing cabinet and land on his head.  How am I supposed to sleep again?!?!

Ketchup. Or, Catsup? Nah, Catch Up.

So, I have been meaning to write about our trip, but there's not a lot that I didn't write about in blurbs on Facebook.  We visited with family, saw the friends that matter most (that weren't sick or not feeling up to seeing anyone, let alone visitors from a strange land) and we had fun!  Halloween was incredibly painful, as I knew it would be.  I'm grateful that we got to spend a good chunk of the day with Chris' parents, who are some of the most awesome people to ever walk the earth, and we went trick or treating with Marisol and her son, Diego.  Nothing exceptionally noteworthy, aside from spending the Sunday before we left with my friend Saz and her gorgeous kids, and the trip from LC to ABQ with Chris' mom (and my terrible bout of stomach flu that lasted exactly 24 hours.  WTF?  Seems I left that little souvenir for my step dad to catch.  Whoops.)

We got to see my brother, whom Dante absolutely adores.  For days, all he could say was "Uncle Jesse!" and it sucked that we didn't get to see more of him.  I must demand in this very public platform that my brother gets his narrow butt up here soon for a visit.  No ands, ifs or buts, J.  You need to get here and stay for at least a warm weekend so we can go to the zoo and a museum and such.  Start saving; food and couch space is on me.

What surprised me the most (in an awesome way) was seeing my cousin Lauren.  I knew in the back of my head that she is now an adult (!)  and going to school, but to see what a gorgeous young lady she has become just blew my mind!  She's incredibly smart, bright, responsible and sweet.  She truly has become the Whole Package, and I am incredibly proud of her.  But part of my brain still goes back 21 years and I remember holding her a month after she was born.  She just blows my mind!

There are a few people I wish I got to spend more time with (Yvonne G., Emilia. Robert, Stacie...) but I sincerely hope they know I tried so hard to see as many people as I could and stretched all three of us incredibly thin.  At the very latest, I'll be there next year for Emilia's wedding come hell or high water, so there's that....

While we were there, Dante's vocabulary grew by leaps and bounds!  Scarlett had her first taste of solid food! She started holding her head up much better!  Dante is making even more of a transition from "toddler" to "real live boy" a la Pinocchio, and we're all richer for the experience.

Since we've been home, I've watched as Dante is even more autonomous and Scarlett is showing her true, precious colors.  Dante is defiant, but I have to remember to step back and be mindful that I can't helicopter him until he's 30.  Scarlett is very much my diva.  She likes things done a certain way, and she'll reward me with a smile and her tongue sticking out.  She has started to cut her first tooth this week, and is now eating solid food twice a day. She's so incredibly pretty, to boot!  Her eyes sparkle when she smiles at me.  I think she's fully aware that I will do anything for her, and it shows.

My gorgeous husband is gone this week, visiting his family.  Before he left, he set up Skype on his computer, and then since he's been down there, he set it up for his mom, too.  So every day since we bought the mic (Wednesday) we've chatted a few times, and Dante is not happy until we call Daddy.  It's sweet.  I love how much Dante loves his dad.

So, I am off to get Dante up, get Scarlett up and cuddle up with some Sesame Street before I make Dante help me clean.  This morning, he emptied out the dishwasher.  Kinda.  He took all the silverware and put it in one spot of the silverware divider, and he put the stock pots where they go without me having to show him.  I did have to show him where the cookie sheet went, but he was so happy to help, I thought his head was going to explode!

Good night!

I Have to Toot My Son's Horn....

Since he doesn't even know he has one.

On Wednesday, as we were getting ready to leave and go to Starbucks so we could get some fresh air (and coffee), I put Scarlett in her car seat so that I could brush my hair and tie it back.  When I came out of the bathroom, there was Dante, putting two blankets over his sister's legs and then her hat, in case she wanted to wear it.  As I pushed the stroller across the parking lot to our usual Starbucks, Dante adjusted the visor on the stroller so she wouldn't catch any sun on her porcelain face.  (He then proceeded to be a little hellion once we got to Starbucks, though, but that's ok.)

Today, as I was getting us ready to go walk for ice cream (I am a cool mom, after all!), he kept kissing Scarlett!  He ran and got her bottle, and even put his sandals on all by himself!

He was actually a joy when we went to two different grocery stores, and he sang the alphabet in the car and said "Bye, bye, Auntie Mindy.  Thank you!" as we dropped her off back at her place.  And then we got home.

The KICKER????  He took off his clothes and his diaper all by himself and ran to the bathroom as I loaded the dishwasher.  He then moved his step stool over to the potty, put his potty seat on all by himself, and he used it!  You could have knocked me over with a feather!

What am I going to do?!  My little baby boy is becoming a boy.  A real, live boy!  GAH!  He's so incredible!  Sure, there are moments I want to jump out the window in sheer frustration, but I know he's almost 3 and well, almost preschoolers will be almost preschoolers.  I'm blown away every day.  Every so often, I have to pinch myself.  Kids are time machines.  Days may be pretty slow, even the busy ones, but holy hades, weeks and months just fly by.

And now I get to go to bed.  After I play a couple silly games.

I Didn't Teach Him That!!

Last week, Dante impressed the hell out of us when he read a piece of mail that said "Xfinity;" it was mail from our cable provider.  It completely blew my mind.  I can't help but wonder, though, if he just sees so many of the ads on tv that the logo tipped him off.

Then, today (yesterday, for you day walkers) I asked him if he wanted a quesadilla since I didn't feel like cooking, and never mentioning the chain by name - Taco Bell - we just hit the drive-thru and went home to munch and nap the rest of the gloomy day away.

Fast forward to Hubby getting home.  He asked Dante where we went today and Dante picked up a wrapper and pointed to the logo and said "Taco Bell, Dada!"  What.  The.  Punk?

I decided we watch too much tv and went to finish dinner.  And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that we don't see many, if any, Taco Bell commercials.

As that little nugget of information creeped its way into my gray matter, he looked at Hubby's phone, pointed to the top of it, and read where it says "T-Mobile."

We really don't see many commercials.  We skip them on the DVR when we watch shows that have them, but he mostly sees PBS shows, which are (thankfully) commercial free.

So I'm sitting here, about to go to bed (if I can turn my brain off...PLEASE?!) and I'm wondering if he's going to just be an early reader like I was.  I have been reading voraciously since the tender age of 2 1/2.  In hindsight, I'm thinking I did it to kill time while Mom fed and diapered my little brother.  Is that what's happening to him?  Now I'm beginning to think I'm abandoning my son and the only way he feels he's going to get any attention is by doing something awesome while finding something to do.  Two birds, so to speak.

On that note, I put Scarlett in the Bumbo seat today, and she was able to sit in it without completely flopping about like a fish out of water.  I got video AND pictures.  I cried because it means she's getting bigger and stronger and will soon be running circles around me like Dante does.  Dante cried because even though he rarely sits in it (and it's Scarlett's anyways), she was invading his turf.  It was very cute, and I distracted him with avocado.  Ha!

I am going to attempt to get to bed before the sun comes up.  That is my new daily goal.  *yawn*

One Good Turn...

Dante was AMAZING today!  (I'm sure I'm going to pay for that statement as soon as he wakes up...) and it only took him half an hour to put all of his toys away.  He helped me get snacks into his Elmo backpack, and even caressed his sisters foot when she got fussy.

We went to Starbucks first so I could get some caffeine into me, and as we left, we saw one of the homeless folk that are always in our neighborhood.  He was at the corner, and I saw him, so I got a $1 from my wallet and gave it to Dante to hold.  When we got to him, I stopped and asked Dante to please give it to that gentleman.  He handed it to him, gave him a fist bump, and said "Thank you!"  It was so sweet!  The man he gave it to didn't look at me, he thanked Dante, and I told Dante to tell him to be safe.  And we were on our way!

Got to the park, and Dante blew me away.  He could suddenly go places he wasn't able to go last time, and he climbed like a champ.  With every fall, he blew my mind simply by getting up, dusting off his butt and trying again.  When I would call him back for some juice, he'd kiss his sister before running off again.  He would go to the slats in the fort and call me over to give him kisses, and he listened when I told him to get away from the tire swing that bigger kids were using.  (I didn't want him to get nailed in the head!)

When I told him he had three more trips down the slide before we left, he counted along with me, and didn't argue when I told him to get into his seat so we could go.

I decided on the way home to stop for some Burger King, and there was a weathered older lady waiting for her order along with us.  She pet Scarlett, then asked how old Dante was.  Then she told us that Dante was the same age as her grandson and just invited us over to her house to use her pool.  There's no way on the god's green earth that we'd go, but my curiosity wants to drive by to make sure she's safe.  I had Dante tell her "Thank You" for her offer and we got our order and ran.

Got home, Dante ate his burger when I asked (ok, about 1/3 of it!) and all of his fries.  He even agreed to be put down for a nap!  My son has been an amazing child today!  I wonder what it was...but I hope this keeps up!  I'll take it!

Danger is My New Middle Name

Took Dante with me to my 30 week appointment today.  He screamed the whole way to the elevator, I have no idea why, and he was happy as soon as he saw my car and I put him in his car seat.

He was patient while I stopped at the bank, and was still being cute when I hit the drive thru at my favorite local coffee joint.  He sang and played with his chattering Cookie Monster the rest of the way to my doc's office, and as soon as I unbuckled him, I suddenly knew what it was like to herd cats.

I got him safely across the street and up the stairs to the front door, and the next thing I knew, every old lady in a two block radius was telling me how gorgeous he was.  I got him onto the elevator, and as soon as we got off on the 4th floor, he booked it towards the office like he'd been there before!  As I signed in, he even tried to scribble like I was on the sign in sheet!

Here's where I can't believe we made it out alive and dry:  I had to leave a sample, like I do every time I go in.  I had forgotten about that.  Luckily, there was only one marker, so I grabbed it, marked my name on the little cup, and hid it out of his reach when I was done.  He tried grabbing the little cups that were in there and I had to go "EEEEWWWWW" before he finally left them alone.  Finished, went to wash my hands, and he insisted on his hands getting washed, too.  So I washed his hands, gave him a paper towel and (here's the great part!) he tried to open the door with the paper towel, like I do!  It was so cute!  I used my paper towel to open the door and turn off the light, and he was so excited to throw his away!

So we sat in the waiting room for just a couple minutes when I got called to get my weight taken (220.0) and then we were shuffled off to an exam room.  He sat on my lap when I got my blood pressure taken (117/83) and  then he wanted down.  He played with the step stool on the exam table, spun the doctor's spinny stool and then realized the exam table had DRAWERS!  So I gave him his banana (I was a Girl Scout, after all) and we read a book.

When Dr. B came in, she saw him and just giggled.  She then answered my questions, told me that I get to have another 3 hour screen around the 23rd, and made a few suggestions I hadn't thought of.  Then I got to hop back up on the table and she measured my belly (around 32 cm) and Dante got to hear his baby sister's heartbeat!  He danced to it!  It was one of the most precious things I had ever seen in my 32 years of existence! But again, isn't it hard not to dance to a sweet tune at 148bpm?  LOL!

As I was wiping that cold goo off my belly, he decided we were done, and just opened the door and took off.  I called him back, grabbed my stuff, and made a beeline for the receptionist desk.  Made my appointment for the 13th, and he was off like a flash down the hall to the elevator.

We got back to the car and I realized that I had sent all the baby shower invites via Facebook, but there was one SUPER important person that didn't get an invite since she isn't on Facebook:  My mom's best friend!!!  So I called her, thinking I'd get voice mail, and I wound up getting to talk to her!  Gave her the details, and I get to see her at the party!  YAY!!  I was a little dismayed that she told me she's bringing a gift; the real gift is her presence!  Now, I'm not one to turn down a gift, but I really just want to see her!  That is the next best thing to seeing my mom!

As soon as we got home, I got the mail and then we came up to get Dante's chalk and bubbles, and we went to the patio.  I wanted to wear him out!  I must've done a great job, because near the end our trip down there, he just decided to lay down on the cement!

Brought him back up, stuffed a peach and some chicken nuggets into him, and now he's out for a nap.  And I must agree...it's nap time!

Bullet: Dodged. For Now.

Yesterday, I called the doc's office and got some great news!  In order to "pass" the 3 hour glucose screen, I had to get decent scores on 2 of the 4 tests.  I was happily surprised to hear that I only got an abnormal score on the 2nd stick, the one that's one hour after I guzzled that nasty Glucola.  But considering it's 100 grams of glucose, I'm not surprised.  I have to get tested again in a month, but that's a whole month of sweet (LOL!) freedom!  I am tempted to ask if they can "prescribe" a glucose meter so I can start keeping track, and can make better choices without the diabetes diagnosis.  I am just tickled pink that for now, I'm A-OK.  I was dreading the thought of having to have insulin during labor like I did with Dante.  That sucked a big one.

I'm still being a neurotic freak with my carb intake, and going as protein heavy as I can.  I am still working my now non-existent ass off trying to avoid that terrible diagnosis again.  (While I'm thinking about it, how the hell did my once glorious booty disappear?  I used to be able to hold a pair of jeans up without a belt!  WTH?)

That being said, I had a great day today with Dante.  We went to see my friend's son's kindergarten graduation, and then went for pizza after.  Dante was himself:  Loud, funny, smart and gorgeous.  He ate quite a bit of my tuna salad and some of his pizza, and he had a lot of fun showing off his alphabet skills.  He flirted with one of our servers, and threw pizza dough all over the restaurant.  Same old, same old.  =D

I am a bit worried, though.  I can't lie.  I have this fear that Dante may feel neglected when his sister gets here.  I remember when he was teeny tiny, and every waking (and sometimes sleeping) moment was spent on him.  Granted, I have more experience this time, but there is only one of me.  My husband is a hard worker who goes in early to make sure he's set up at work, and it's mostly just me here to make sure Dante is fed, dressed, clean and happy.  While he has recently learned how to put his dishes in the sink (as opposed to the trash, which was really obnoxious there for a bit...) and he can sit and "read" a book or dance all by himself, I'm afraid he'll feel like he doesn't matter when I have a little girl who is even more helpless than he is.  Having a younger brother, I know that feeling.  I think that's why I loved sticking my nose in a book.  I got to get out of the way while everyone doted on my little brother.  I wouldn't be surprised if my mom told you (or me) that she would forget I existed because I would just sit in one place and read for hours, while my little bro would play loudly in the next room.  Seeing how hard it was to make him eat ANYTHING, I ate what was put in front of me, for the most part.  The only reason I wouldn't eat broccoli, per se, was just so they would remember I was there.  I'm seriously afraid of how Dante is going to react when she shows up.

AND ANOTHER THING...names are eluding me.  There are a lot of gorgeous names for girls, but so many are too popular (I don't want Little Miss to be one of 5 "Olivia's" for example) or too weird, or don't fit my insanely weird criteria.  I want something off the beaten track, but not off the wall.  I want to honor my best friend that passed, and/or one of the many great ladies I am lucky enough to be related to.  I want one of her names to reflect her Hispanic heritage.  I want it to flow with our last name.  There are some names I just flat out refuse because people I don't like have that name.  I'm stuck, and I hate it.  With Dante, it was easy.  When Hubby and I started dating, he told me he WILL have a son, and his name WILL BE Dante.  That was it.  His middle name was fun to find, after a friend suggested we go tongue in cheek and find a middle name that means "fire."  (Get it?  Dante's Inferno?  BWAHAHAHA!  Sad thing is, he's a spit fire, so it works!)

So, that's where my brain is right about now...Now I have to get us both dressed again so I can go get Tums, since I'm out.  That's been my drug of choice as of late....

Singing in the Rain is a Bad Analogy, but....

So, today was interesting.  It was one of those days where time decided to both stand still and fly by.  Woke up twice (8am, and 1130am) before finally getting out of bed because Dante was finally awake at 12.30p
We got up, ate cheesy eggs and watched some Sesame Street before Dante decided he wanted to go BYE BYE!!!  So I got him dressed, went and checked the mail, and then I took him to the patio off the community room on the 4th floor with a bucket of chalk and let him run amok.  That lasted about 45 minutes, and then I realized it was NAPTIME.

So I brought him back up, got him tucked in, and I was about to pass out, too, when I remembered that it was Dia de las Madres (Mexico's Mother's Day is ALWAYS May 10th, not the second Sunday like it is here.) and so I called her.  (DAMN!  I forgot to call Gramma.  I'll call her tomorrow.)  Then, as I was about to turn out lights and let the drool fly when Dante woke up.  GAH!

So I got him up, we watched some of my silly shows so I could clean out the dvr and I made some mac and cheese.  After his first bowl, I realized he was the stink in the room, so I went to change him.  His pants and onesie were dirty, so I figured since it was a warm night, he could just hang out in a diaper.

Then he decided to misbehave, so I put him in his crib for a time out.  (To distinguish between "time out" and "sleepy time," I leave the light on, take out all his toys and leave the door open.  It works.)

When I went to get him, I noticed that he has made the decision to be a nudist, and as I grabbed him, he kept yelling PEE PEE!!!!  So I grabbed his potty and put it near the sofa.  He sat right down, didn't do anything, and just got up and ran around.  Then I remembered that my friend gave us some Pull Ups since her step son no longer needs them, so I helped Dante get into a pair.  Figuring he was good, I turned around to start dishes and dinner, and when I turned around, he was streaking through the living room like Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes fame, just letting the wind whip through his curls.  So I asked him where his underpants were, and he grabs them from the floor (they were wet) and threw them away.  So I put another pair on him and get back to what I was doing.  Just about 20 minutes later, he comes running up to me for more milk, naked as a jaybird.  I asked if he had to pee, and he ran to his potty and sat.  Nothing.  So, tired of blowing these expensive, glorified diapers, I ran and got him a real diaper, and put it on him while he stood looking at me like a puppy after you try to explain Euclidean geometry to it.  So he ran around in his diaper until precisely the exact same moment his dad unlocked the door and walked in.  Dante just ran up to him in all his glory and gave his leg a hug.  Cute!  Dangerous, but cute!

So, since the dinner I made didn't sound good to either of us, I ran to McD's.  (For the record, when I ask for white milk and a boys toy, I really mean it.  I think they thought today was opposite day, so I got chocolate milk and a girls toy, which sucks.  Because it was SUPPOSED to be a Batman toy.  And we so rarely eat fast food, I doubt we'll get another chance to get Batman.  Grrr...)

I get back, and Dante was still proudly displaying his birthday suit, Mongolian spot and all.  So I gave him his Happy Meal and got mine and my love's dinner situated and Dante had a blast dumping out his fries and chicken nuggets.  Us "adults" finish our dinner and Dante was still playing with his food, but he said PEE PEE again, so we asked him to please sit down and go potty.  He was up and down for a few when I look down and realized he actually got some where it goes!  It was hardly anything, but I had to celebrate!  I grabbed the potty, had him follow me to the bathroom, and he got to wipe, I dumped what little there was where it goes and he got to trash his TP and flush like a big boy!  I am so incredibly excited!  We really have been just letting it slide, letting him decide if and when he wanted to learn to use the potty, and while it may take a while, I think he'll get it sooner than I was giving him credit for.  That'll teach me to be cautious and realistic!  SHEESH!  LOL!

So much to say, but...

There aren't enough words.  I have been busting my butt trying to get fans and publicity for my mom's new business  and trying to find a name for this little bundle of joy that's kicking the crap out of me, and trying to keep up with the upkeep around here, and hell, keeping up with Dante might be a full time job in and of itself.

We had to clean up and de-clutter for an inspection (one of the fine print notes on our lease) and now that it's downright sparkling in here, it's been easier to maintain.  It was nice to just do a load of dishes and suddenly my minuscule kitchen looked better.  Still getting Dante to figure out how to put his toys back in their boxes has been an interesting lesson in futility.  He has been mostly good, but he's still prone to just taking one of the boxes or hampers and just dumping them.  Then he'll stand up and lift his arms, like he painted the Mona Lisa.  I should teach him how to say "TA DA!"

And to prove to me that he is a little genius, this morning, out of nowhere, he stuck his hand in his Onesie and said "IN" then took it out and said "OUT!"  After his first nap (he's back to two a day for the time being), he looked at his Dr. Seuss workbook, pointed at the word, and said "MAN."  I nearly passed out.  He's getting too smart!  I'm waiting for him to be watching Real Time With Bill Maher with me and he'll just chime in with a snarky comment.  Wow.  He's too fantastic for words!

I feel incredibly lucky.  It's like I won the Poor Man's Lottery.  I am happily married.  I have a smart, gorgeous son.  I will have a new little girl to take care of by the end of the summer.  I have incredible friends and family.  Now all I need is to hit the ACTUAL lottery, and I can get a car that isn't on its deathbed and a house that no one will inspect but my Gramma.  (And I'm ok with that!  That would mean she's here!)

So, I have chicken to defrost and I need to get all the stuff together to fry some drumsticks and I think I'll make mashers and corn to go with it...YUM!

And on another note, I really hope all is well with my surrogate nephew.  He's such an awesome young man....

How in the...?

Last night, my little genius ran into my room and scaled my bed.  I let it slide while I finished what I was doing and waddled over.  He jumped up and yelled "UP!"  So I had to ask, "Where's down?" and he dropped and said "DOWN!"  Un-freakin'-believable!  When I grabbed him by the ankles and held him upside down, he said "up-down!" and I thought my heart was going to explode!  So we hung out and I tickled him for a few and then out of nowhere he goes "UP!" and jumps up and lands on my chest.  The fleshy part that doesn't like being used as a toddler landing strip.

Today we ran a few errands, and he was such a champ in the car, I got him a bag of Cheetos.  Of course I took about 1/3 of the bag for myself, but to see the joy on his precious face as he covers it in orange powder makes my heart skip a beat.  Can't lie.

I can't help but wonder what I did right to deserve such a gorgeous little boy.  It has been (for the most part!) an amazing experience to get to watch him grow up.  I still can't believe he's two years old.  It blows my mind that he's getting a baby sister this summer.  (That being said, I also can't wrap my brain around being pregnant over the summer.  I was pregnant with Dante over the winter and walked in snow in flip flops to try to cool down.  I'm screwed.)  But Dante seems to just soak information like nothing I've ever seen.  He retains so much, and I know he gets frustrated because he can't quite communicate what he wants to get across.  I feel like a weird interpreter.   It's funny and yet frustrating for me, too.  I hate seeing that look on his face, when someone who doesn't live with us has trouble understanding what he wants to say and he keeps trying to repeat himself, to no avail.  Gods help him, he is so sweet!  He really loves when we go out and he gets to say Hi to people, and I know if I let him, he'd sit with his palms on his window in the car and just take all of it in like a dehydrated man in the desert who comes across a water fountain.  He always looks like he is ingesting his environment, like he's going to get a test on what he saw when we sit down together.

Speaking of the Love of My Life, he's up from his nap...let the adventures begin! <3

Seriously?

I just sat in absolute awe as Dante laughed his way through the Sesame Street theme song.  I try to keep reading about where he sits on an "average" scale, and I can't pin him anywhere.  He's smarter than a 3 year old in some ways, and a little behind in others.  Yes, he's made some amazing progress since I was told to have him evaluated by a speech pathologist in January (which I still haven't done, mostly because of the progress he's made...)

As much as I want to get him into school as soon as he is developmentally ready, the way schools have been making cuts, I can't help but wonder if he'd be better off with me for a bit, or in an online school (when he's old enough!)  It is scary how much he picks up if you just present the information to him in a way he understands.  Last night, while watching the "Up and Down Song" on Sesame Street, he went up and down just like the monsters on the screen, laughing the whole way!

I am not a very good pregnant lady.  Seriously.  I get very angry at weird things, and I'm waiting for the day I snap in traffic and get shot.  A few weeks ago, I went from the UPS Store to the Dollar Store (Same shopping center, but on opposite sides) and since my car has problems getting up and going, I am super cautious at 4 way stops since I have precious cargo.  This crazy lady thought it would be a great idea to honk at me, so I flipped her off.  Next thing I know, I'm parking at the dollar store and this burly, crazy looking black lady was yelling at me to watch who I flip off.  I yelled that not only was I pregnant and skinnier than her, I'd take her out like yesterday's garbage.  (I'm 20 weeks and 210 pounds and about 5'8'.  FYI.)  The best part was the group of people on the sidewalk between us, laughing like they were at a taping of The Daily Show.  As she walked inside Kmart, the group just pointed at her and laughed at her face.  It was hilarious.

I also think that women who love being pregnant either are lying to themselves and their friends and family, or they are mutants with amazing DNA.  Every so often, I am amazed that I haven't gone apesh*t off a bell tower yet, with either pregnancy.  Before Dante, there were three movies that made me cry:  Steel Magnolias, Edward Scissorhands, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  Since my first pregnancy, I now cry at jewelry commercials, the way some actors hug on a TV show, at any dumb thing you can possibly imagine.  It's odd and it drives me insane.

My pregnancy with Dante also made me insane in other ways.  When I was waiting for him to make his grand (and painful) entrance into this jacked up world of ours, I only got out of bed to pee, eat, or get more food.  Needless to say, I gained 50 pounds, an insulin dependent bout of gestational diabetes and an even more cynical outlook on the whole child-bearing thing.  I must say that the only good thing about being pregnant (aside from the excuse to be bitchy, irritable and slow) is the huge payout at the end. Now, even when not pregnant, I obsess over calories and sugar content, the amount I work out, and I read a ton more articles on metabolism and other weird things that I used to have no interest in.  And I'm now incredibly OCD with the way I have to have things in my kitchen.  I used to be laid back and now if my cheese grater is out of place, I snap.  (On the inside, at the very least!)  I think it's because I have so little control over the little things, I have to make mountains out of molehills to give myself the semblance of control.  Yikes.  I'm nuts!

All in all, I am dumbfounded and amazed at where this odd little life of mine has lead me.  I know I don't do things "by the book" for the most part, and most of what I have learned in the last two years has been to trust my gut and pray for the best, but I think I've managed to do a pretty good job.  I've met kids older than Dante with less social graces, so I must be doing SOMETHING right!  Right?

Holy Smokes....

Last night, after his bath, I was dousing my son in enough baby lotion to lube him up for a pig chase, when he said "BABY" out of the blue.  Then he pointed at the lotion bottle.

I asked, "Where does it say 'baby?'" and HE POINTED AT THE WORD "BABY!"  I was afraid it was a fluke, so I picked him up (kinda hard, since he was a slippery little thing!) and asked him to show Daddy where it says "baby."  AND HE DID IT AGAIN!

He turns 2 on March 26th.  I'm so very impressed!  I love my smart little booger!  =D